Believing...

This is the problem with believing.
At first, it was only a joke:
I didn't want to believe any of it,
for I had feelings from the start.
I didn't want to be swayed to the illusion that it is true.
I was contented in that fantasy of good feelings.
Yes, I had wishes for it to come true...
But I pictured it in a more serene setting.
I never really expected my wishes to come true...
Especially this kind.

I shouldn't have believed.
Now everything is so fucked up.

Even my friends started to notice.
They're not used that I'm weak.
It's so not me.
One friend even told me I sounded emo.

FUCK!

...

For you:

I'm not asking you to love me.
I'm not that dumb.
All I'm asking is...
Uhm...
Not to make a fool out of me.
There is a big difference between like and love.
Please don't abuse my feelings.
I've been hurt so many times,
I don't want to get hurt by you.
Please don't hurt me.
I want us to be friends.

...

I'm sorry...
For whatever I did wrong.
I'm sorry...
For everything.

...

Now...

...

I don't want to believe anymore.

Shit.

I sound emo again.

...

...

...

And when I thought i was gonna give up...

When I thought I just had to face it...

You made it all change.

...

Thank you.

Maybe...

I will still believe.

...

...

I like this.