Idiot...

With the many projects and deadlines I have to meet...

The L-word still comes up in my world.

I think I'm gonna do a Holden Caulfield
if I don't pull myself together...

OOOHHH!!!
I'm such an idiot for falling in love!
I know very well he will never love me...

That's my role...
Always the friend,
Never the girlfriend.

Hay.
I just have to accept the fact
That I will always be a loser...

Here I go again with the pity party.
...
Chris...
I really need a break.

hayhay...

I do need to get my life back together.

Helpless...

I haven't been able to blog lately because I'm swamped with schoolwork.
Oh,
Did I tell you?
Our passover thing and Cupid and Psyche is now on the same date!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't take this anymore...
Now I have to reschedule everything...
And move reservations...
And add practices...
And arrange meetings.
Whew!
And this is only the first sem of my first year in college!

...

I don't think I'm gonna last very long if things stay like this.

And the worse thing is that the L-word keeps coming up.

From guys who like me... (that are BIG LOSERS...)
To the one guy I have loved for four months now...

ARGGGHHH!!!

I realy need a break.

Oh dear...
I feel like such a loser...
Here I go again with the pity fest.
God I hate it when I feel crappy.

And I don't even have the comics that is half of my English finals!

Oh, I don't know...
I don't know what tyo do anymore...

I don't even think FaC knows of the rescheduling...
Well,
I better get back to work.

Ended...

Wow...
This is my 102nd post!

...

I didn't really notice it until a while ago...

Anyway...

WE ENDED 28 AT 82!!!

After 28 loong years of drought,
We finally got our crown back!
The final game was intense...
It was a very close fight.
68-67
We held our breaths in the final seconds...
There was still a chance they can shoot...
but Aljamal held the ball until the time was up.
WoohoO!!!

My other friends went back to Beda for the victory party.
I bet it was a lot of fun...

Oh well.
I have a lot of work to do so I headed straight home.

...

New people who answered my question:

Justine Anne dela Paz:
isa ka sa mga taong nakilala ko
na totoo sa sarili at sa ibang tao.

sweet_guev:
Don't stay behind.
I'd love to see you there when it's my turn.
I'll miss you.
Well,
I got lots of work to do...
so,
Cheers!

Sagad!

Death...

I got an itchy feeling to ask people questions...
And force an answer out of them.
Haha.

So here's my question:
if i would die tonight,
what would you say to me
before i breathe my last breath?

...

I sent that to everyone on my ym list...
And here some of the answers:

dave mathews:
lets not do it tonight, i will arrange it tomorrow myself :P

xxviii_donna:
hm? tnxs for ol uv bin such a soofer doofer frnds.. ktakits nln sa heaven

chris3_74:
actually to be honest i wouldnt know what to say,
but i know i would want to tell you that
you are one of the most caring people i havt known
and that you will always have a place in my heart

Jan Chan:
"goodbye. Be happy with God."

Kurt Yumul:
"I'm sure God's wating for you"

myLes arabe:
tnx sa lahat2..hehe..
kahit d tayo ganon kaclose,
alam ko mabaet ka..

not_joyce:
say hi to God for me

Claude Dietrich Yumul:
gusto ko malaman mo
na super laki ng utang na loob ko sayo,
and that i'm hella grateful..
also, you were with us (him and his gf)
every step of the way,
and that means a lot..
and i love you friend...

Well...
Those are some answers.
Some made me laugh,
Some made me smile...
Some are just weird...
Haha.

Ho-hum...
I'm tired.
I'm soooooooo tired.
I mean, look at my to-do list!
-direct Cupid and Psyche
-direct the Passover
-do the comics
-go to the final game
-work for TC
-give Theo project for exhibit
-compose song (actually get it from Tricco... haha) for OBM
-go to Mt. Banahaw for the TC
-earn 500 smackers by next week
-study for Earthsci, ICT and English quizzes
...

and I have to do all of that before Oct. 4!!!

I sooo need a vacation.
Good thing sem break comes right after the finals...

...

I'M GONNA MISS FAC!!!

...

I didn't realize it until I typed that sentence.
Damn.
It's only been 4 months,
But it seems like I have spent my entire life with these guys!
Awww...
I wish we were block sections...
I remember myself regretting being put in FAC,
Because they were so rowdy...
But that rowdiness made me love them so much...
Hayhay...
This is why I hate being attached to people.
Because I will have to leave them at one point.
I think the worst thing about it is that people forget...
Even of one tries so hard to hold on...
Time makes us forget.

...

Arrgh!
I hate having senti moments.
It makes me feel so depressed.
...
I think I've read Cather in the Rye too many times.
Haha.
Well,
I gotta get my crap ready for tomorrow...
And cut up verses for Theology.
So...

Cheers!

Sagad!

Wednesday...

Beda lost to PCU today...
Now it's 1-1...
Boohoo.

I thought I had tomorrow free.
I thought I was gonna blog about victorious SBC.
But nooooo....

So...
Oh well...
what can I do, right?

I think it was bad luck..
Huhuhu...

This sucks.
Oh well.
We still got Friday to get back the crown we own.
Hope my dad gets me the patron tickets for Friday...
Who knew my dad's officemate was the mom of one of the players in SBC?!
Haha...
Hope the son is one of the hot ones...
Wahehe..

So there...
5 posts.
Enjoy!

Cheers!

Sagad!

Monday...

Monday's game was amazing!
Carla, the boys and moi went in Araneta to get seats...
Which was almost non existent because everyone was clamoring to get the seats from SSCR.
We almost had silent fights with other Bedans because of the seats..
It was fun at first...
Becasue the boys were with us...
And that's a rare occassion when we're with the boys...
Without malice.
But there were these marketing girls that kept asking them to move...
And so they did...
Up to upper box b...
Grrrr!
Hay...
I guess it can never happen that the girls and the boys will have good fun...

Beda won!!!
Woohoo!!!
Escobal was the player of the game...
He even scored higher than Aljamal...
Those two guys were always hurt during the game...
I thought Carla was going to kill the guys from PCU because of what they did to Pong.
Haha.

Hope we get the championship this time...

Because it'll be really humiliating of we won't...

4 out of 5...
Last one cominp up guys!

Nervous...

Our English finals is a play.
Cupid and Psyche.

And so far...
Nothing good is happening!!!

zomg!!!

I'm getting nightmares of having a 65 in my finals...
Oh dear no...

I just want FAC to cooperate...
They have no idea how lenient I am now compared in highschool...
I just hopre the just do as I say...
So we can get a decent grade.

Hayhay...

*This was supposed to be a long post...
But if I will make it long...
It might turn into ranting...
And I don't want to rant.
Especially if someone from FaC reads this...
Then I don't know what will become of me after tonight...
Haha...

**A note to the actors...
I'd rather cry than get violent...
So if you see me teary-eyed,
That's because I'm really mad.
And I'm sorry for that...
So be thankful I'm not like Carla (no offense to her)
Please bare with me...
I know I'm not the sexiest girl...
But please do have the patience to listen and pay attention to me...
Because we need it for the grade.
And please practice when I say we should practice.
This is not just an impromptu play that we can rehearse in a day.
This takes a lot of time.
I get tired too...
But I won't stop until we do it right.
I will do everything just to make you listen.
We can do this...

***And please memorize you lines.

****And please don't laugh when we rehearse.
I take this play very seriously and I hope you will too.
it's okay to have jokes,
But when I say stop,
We should get back to work.

*****FaC is the best effing class I ever had!!!

...

Oh no,
It became longer...
Haha...
Anyway,
It isn't ranting...
so it's all good...
2 more...
And it's all about bball bebeh...

Bayview...

Sunday:
We had our PEPBA finals.
It was in Bayview Park Hotel.
Food was crap, I tell you now.
It's only a 3-star hotel,
What would I expect?

Oh,
Before I continue...
I have to tell you that I have this morbid fascination
when guys joke with me...
I just find it funnier...
Even if I know they are already "abusing" me...

Anyway,
I won't write the 'details'...
Because someone from class might read it...
And think of it differently...
And my problems will start all over again...

All I wanna say is...
I love having friends with benefits...
Haha.

Oh,
I sang the Philippine National Anthem in the opening
Apparently I wasn't too bad,
because they didn't start chuckng the goblets with the candles at me.
Haha.
Ma'am Bengco even thenked me for singing it well...
?
Thanks? I guess?
Haha.

Our finals had a fashion show...
And I saw Usher's girl...
...
...
...
WaAaAaAaAa!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sexy...
White...
Pretty...

Fine. I get your point.
I can never get Usher...
Hayhay...

It was done around past 1 and I left at 2...
I was supposed to be introduced to Mr. Perfect...
but I was too shy.
I know...
Me?!?!
SHY?!?!
Well this gurl gets shy to, ya know...

So that was my Sunday.

After the finals,
my dad and I went to SMF for grocery shopping...
Imagine that:
My dad, an attorney, an ASec... a senior citizen...
Out grocery shopping with his 17 yr. old daughter...
Haha!
It was actually fun...
They rearranged the supermarket so it was crazy in looking for what we need,
But my dad and I didn't even fight..

We went home...
Then I forgot what happened.
haha.

3 more posts... hang in there.. ayt?

XP

Pep...

This is the first of 5 posts that I'll be making tonight...
Damn I'm on a roll!
I had too many things on my hands...
So I wasn't able to post anything since Friday.

So Friday...
Pep Rally.
I was almost caught with leaving school,
but I got in just in time!
Whew...

Carla and I were readers for the blessing...
So we were the only freshies in the sides...
I just love TC!!
Wahehe...
Moi and Carla got to meet cuties and hotties...

And jackpot with my crushies!
Ahihihi...
I saw Usher...
Mr. Hottie...
And of course, my beloved...
haha.
I was surrounded by hotties...

And I actually like basketball now!
Wahehe...
Carla is a big influence, thank you...
I got pictures of Aljamal and Escobal...
ZOMG!!! Certified hotties!!!
Haha...
I'm starting to sound like a dumb blonde..

I'm starting to become a groupie all over again...
haha...
Nostalgia?
Don't think so...
Just high from all the hot guys...

It was done around a bit past nine...
The lights were turned off and it wasn't turned on again after.
Damn, you could rape anyone there if you wanted.
haha.
But I opted to have my pictures taken with Aljamal, Escobal and Coach Koy.
Even got autographs from Aljamal, Escobal and Ekwe...

So there.
It was a fun night...
And that night started a lot of things...
which will be posted in the next posts.
Haha.

A penny for my thoughts:
I'd rather hurt myself than hurt the one I love.

I admire the man who said this to me.
Hope everything goes well with you...

1 down...
4 more to go...

Empty...

For the past few weeks,
I've been trying my best to be happy...
I've been putting a smile on my face every single day.
Even if I feel like crawling into a hole and cry my eyes out.
I wanna get mad...
I wanna cry.
But I can't.
I have to stay put and don't show any feeling.
I have to look nonchalant...
Even if my heart is breaking...

...

Someone new wants to come in.
But I'm begging for the old one to stay.
I like the new one...
I enjoy his company.
But I don't think anyone can surpass my feelings for the old one.
Haaaayyy...
Now I can honestly say that I can't really have what I want.

...

Beda won again today!
The score was 51-55...
I had one helluva good time.
I don't usually watch basketball...
but it was required,
so I figure I go to the game...
I paid a hundred bucks for it, anyway...

...

Somebody texted this to me.
I wanted to give him my reply...
But I was too afraid of what he'll think.
Well..
Hope you get to read this...
2 things you love about me:
- Your smile
- Your butt..XP
2 things you hate about me:
- You fooled me
- You like too many girls... :(
2 messages you like to tell me:
- Please be genuinely nice to me...
- I hope you realize how much I love you...
2 words to describe me:
- my 100% perfect boy
- mesmerizing
1 nickname you like to call me:
- My angel...

I'll give tell you something that would definitely tell you how much I've fallen for this guy:
My pc has this alarm that tells you if there's an incoming phone call.
I can disregard it,
but I don't,
because I'm still hoping that he'll call me..
Because he used to be the one who disrupts my net time...
And I always answer his phone calls...
WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chico's right.
It's my problem now.
I have to help myself.
And I will...

Hayhay...
I miss Mama Bear and her words of faggotry...
I miss Steffy Foo and her slaps of "love"...
I miss Gise and her hyphaluting words...
I miss SaGaD...

:(

Errands...

People in the house of CORRADO are very amusing...
The want you to do one thing,
And when you start to do it,
They get mad at you for not doing another thing...

Ho-hum...

I'm working my ass off..
Doing my best to get high grades,
And every SINGLE time mudra asks me to wash the dishes,
She asks me like I'M NOT DOING A DAMN THING.
DOYYY!!!

I'M STUDYING!!!
HAVE YOU SEEN MY EYEBAGS!!!
THEY CAME FROM ALL THE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS OF STUDYING!!!

GRRR!!!

...

So next time you ask me to do something,
Please don't talk to me like I'm some idiot who doesn't work a finger.

...

A little bit of ranting...

...

Gotta go back to homework.

Cheers!

Sagad!

Grades...

We got our midterm grades today.
I thought I did pretty good,
But my dad thought otherwise.
OMFG!!!
WHAT MORE DOES HE WANT ?!?!?!

To show you the gravity of the situation,
I shall show you my grades:

Accounting: 2.00
English: 2.00
Earth Science: 2.25
Filipino: 2.00
PE: 1.5
ICT: 1.75
PEPBA: 1.25
Psychology: 1.75
Theology: 1.75

GPA: 1.88

SEE?!?!?!
I get a 1.88 and he scoffs off?!?!
HOLY GREAT MOTHER OF BOB!!!
So I'm sorry I'm not a genius like you,
But please cut me some slack!!!

...

So anyway,
My mom and brother went to Gateway to go and see Bastista.
I went to Gateway around 5 pm, so it was already over,
but I still felt the presence of The Animal.
The poeple,
The posters,
The security,
The environment...
Everything was just...
Oh, I dunno...
I can't describe it.
You know that feeling when you just came in after a really big deal..
Well that's the feling I'm talking about.

Anyway,
I saw the pics and a 5 second video of Batista...
And it was like I saw a Greek god mortalized.
You should see his arms!!!
MASSIVE!!!

He is so gosh darn handsome,
Even my mother screamed her head off when Batista came in.

Oh...
How I wish get to see him on October...
If I ever get the chance,
I WILL BARGE INTO THAT LOCKER ROOM...
Ahehe...

So there.

That's my post.

Oh,
pictures of Batista will be posted as soon as I'm in the mood...
ahehe...

Cheers!

Sagad!

Steph...

REMINDER:
CBOX: END OF THE BLOG.
SO HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SCROLL DOWN AND TYPE.

I didn't really feel like posting,
But I read Steph's blog...
and I copied this off her..

1.Dapat ba gwapo?
Not really, pero better pag gwapo...

2.Matalino?
Of course... Always been in my standards...

3.Preferred Age?
Preferrably older than I am... but who knows?

4.Preferred Height?
Basta taller than me...

5.How about sense of humor?
PLEASE!

6.How about piercings?
none, one, or a lot... don't care, as long as he hasn't got one down under...XP

7.Accepts u for who u are?
Of course...

9.Mushy or no?
NOT MUSHY... I like him mushy when we're alone....XP

10.Thin or Fat?
Not thin... I don't wanna look like a 10! But not fat either...

11.Moreno or Chinito or Mestis0?
any or all? wakekek.

12.Long Hair or Short Hair?
As long as it looks good on him...

13.Plastic or Metal?
Whatthe?!

14.Smells good?
I lurve it when I guy smells oh so manly... ahehe...XP

15.Smoker?
I'll take it..

16.Drinker?
Sure... I'm a drinker too...

17.guy-next-door type?
Okay I guess...

18. Musically inclined?
I fall for them everytime...

19.Plays Piano?
why not?

20.Plays bass and acoustic guitar?
HOTNESS!!!

21.Plays violin?
Hahaha... falling even more! gentle... haha... gentle...

22.Sings very good?
Oh please give him to me...

23.vain?
Could be, but not vainer than me... (is vainer a word?)

24.With Glasses?
Looks cute...XP

25. With Braces?
Not when I have braces... I don't want sparks when we kiss... hehe.. good thing I don't have
braces

26.Shy type?
NO WAY!!! I WANT A GUY WITH BALLS!!

27. frm ADMU or DLSU?
Pwede Beda? hehe... but anywhere is fine...XP

28.Active or Passive?
Active...

29.Sporty or couchpotato?
Couchpotato...XP so we can spend the whole day together... wakekek.

30.Singer or Dancer?
both..

31.suplado?
No way... suplados are not for me...

32.hiphop?
cool!

33. earrings?
I don't mind...

34.mr. count-my-ex-till-u-drop?
Sure... I'll make him stay with me... XD

35.dimples?
GOGOGO!!!XP

36.bookworm?
Loving it...

37. mr. love letter?
Corny but sweet...XP

38.flirt?
Sure... but he'll stop when he meets me...

39.poem writer?
Sent from heaven...

40.serious?
Only a little...

41.galante?
Show me the money!!!

42.campus crush?
Hard to get... out of my league, but if I can... SURE!!!

43.painter?
Hoping he'll paint me...

44.religious?
Goes to Mass every Sunday...

45.alaskador?
Why noT?

46.computer games geek? Or internet freak?
As long as he teaches me DOTA... cool...

47.speaks 20 languages?
Rizal, is that you?

48.nahanap mo na ba sya?
I did, but he hasn't found me yet... :'(

Aftermath...

Reminder:
CBOX: END OF THE BLOG.
SO PLEASE HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SCROLL DOWN AND TYPE.

I took Chico's advice...
I bought valium...
A lot of it...

It's not making my life heaven,
but it's making me smile anyway.
Hey, I'll take what I can get.

...

I suddenly forgot what I was posting about.

My heart stopped.

Then it began pounding like wild...

"Joke time lang yun... hehe..."

&^%$*&^$*(^^%&$%!^%$&^!!!!

Tears want to fall..
But the shock is still preventing it...

SHIT!!!!

I'm such an idiot to think that someone would like me.
Who am I to think of such things?!?!?!
I feel so stupid...
All this time,
I was hoping for something...
And there he was,
laughing at my wishful thinking.
I feel so humiliated.

But hey,
I've been humiliated for the umpteenth time anyway...
So I should stop crying and just make the best out of it...

LET'S BE FRIENDS, AYT?
PLEASE?