Back...

AS ALWAYS...
A REMINDER.
MY CBOX IS DOWN,DOWN,DOWN...
HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SCROLL DOWN AND TYPE.

I've been posting a lot of shit lately,
But none of it is telling about me...

Yes, most of my posts have been concentrated on someone...
But that isn't the only thing that hasn't happened to me.
MY WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND ONE PERSON...
Just so you'll know.

Anyway,
I got most of my midterm grades.
I'm pretty satisfied...
My highest was 1.75 and my lowest is 2.5(ertsci)
I'll do better for the finals.

Chico went to school today.
That was a blast..
I missed him...
And the old FAC...
But heck, change happens.

We had the Filipino thing today.
Loads of food...
But as always,
I didn't eat anything.
This is getting very weird already.
I thinkl I have an eating disorder...
But it doesn't really look like it...
Wakekek.
there was a bunch of bull and crap that happened before anyone ate.
Damn...
100 pesos for 2 glasses of buko juice?!?!
What a rip-off..

We didn't have English,
so Chico, MJ, my beloved Papau and moi went to Mcdo.
We had a lot of fun...
But I had to fetch my brother, so I had to go early.
They went with me...
We were supposed to walk to mama's office,
But our uncle fetched us.
Haaay...
And I thought I could walk with my friends.

Anyway,
Life's not being too tough on me.
Maybe Life thought I needed a break.
I've been living hell on earth for the past three weeks.
I still got problems,
But I can handle it.

...

I've had a cold for three weaks now.
I can't even hear anything from my right ear...
I think I'm going deaf.
I'm taking all kinds of meds now.
I suddenly miss the smell of cigarette smoke...
And the sound of small things...

...

I've been doing a lot of people-wathcinhg lately.
It's always fun for me...
I get to notice everything...
From the big things to the smallest details...
But sometimes it's also hard,
Because I suddenly blurt out odd things that I notice.

...

Bryanboy: my new idol.
He is soooooooooo amazing!
How I wish my blog was as great as his...
I commend him for his courage and confidence to put his life on blog.
How I wish I was as famous as him...
So my life wouldn't be this crappy.
And I'd probably be able to go around the world like him...
And buy all the expensive-crap-but-I-don't-need-and-can-buy-a-cheaper-version like him...
XP
Bryanboy: You rock!
Macrise loves Bryanboy!

...

Chico:
You are the greatest effing friend I could have!
You make things easier for me...
Too bad you dropped.
Oh well.
I can still see you anyway, right?
haha...
You still owe me a movie, dinner, and a new pair of shades.
HAHA

...

Congrats to Guds and Papau!
Wish you all the best!
Mwahmwahmwah!!!
XP

...

Wow,
I started 7 pm...
I ended at 9:30...

...

I think this is a long post...

...

WHADYATHINK?!

...

Anyway...

Just goes to show you that I have other things in mind...

Other than that asshole...
That I like so much...

HAHA.

So there.

Till next time,

Cheers!

SAGAD!

Sagad...

This is Sagad.
This is MaSteKi.

And these are our look-a-likes...

Wakekek!

Ma in MaSteKi


Ste in MaSteKi


Ki in MaSteKi

This happens when a girl gets VEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY BORED.

Cheers!

Sagad!

Faces...

AGAIN, MY CBOX IS AT THE END PART OF THE BLOG.
HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SCROLL DOWN AND TYPE.

AND NOW, MY POST.

To take my mind off things...


For a good laugh...



My Asian and weird side...


haha...

have fun..

Cheers!

Sagad!

Booty...

I feel so stupid.

...

Scratch that.

I KNOW I'm stupid.

...

I'm what you say a booty call without the booty.
GASH!!!

You are such a FUCKING USER!!!

...

I already know that.
But I let you use me.
See.
What you call me?
STUPID.
I allow this crap to happen to me,
When I never let anyone use me.
Except for you.

...

Maybe you did read my post.
Now you take it seriously.

...

So you think I'm in your power?
You think I'll wait for you hand and foot?
You think I'm so gaga for you?

...

Okay, maybe it WAS TRUE.
But not anymore.
Sure I still like you,
But I'm not that crazy to do that still.

I KEPT MY PROMISE.
NOW KEEP YOURS.

BECAUSE IF YOU WON'T,
ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOSE.

IT WAS A BAD IDEA YOU TOLD ME SECRETS.
NOW THAT YOU TREAT ME LIKE CRAP,
YOU WISH YOU NEVER DID THAT TO ME.
YOU WISH YOU JUST PRAISED ME LIKE I WAS A FRIGGIN GODDESS.
JUST SO THAT ALL THIS CRAP WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO YOU.
YOU WISH YOU WERE NICER TO ME.
BECAUSE YOU WILL PAY.

Reminder...

MY CBOX IS DOWN...

...

WAY DOWN BELOW.

I GUESS THE MYHERITAGE THING IS TOO DAMN BIG.

BUT PLEASE HAVE THE PATIENCE
TO SCROLL DOWN AND
TYPE YOUR THOUGHTS.

THANKS.

Segway...

To move away from the abyss that I call my life...
I looked up my internet idol, BRYANBOY.

I found www.myheritage.com so amusing...

Here's what I got...

have fun.

Pathetic...

I would be fooling myself if I said I'm fine.

Coz I'm not.

I've tried crying,
smiling,
ignoring,
busying,
even confronting...

But nothing worked.

Now my liver is suffering because of this.

I'm so mad at myself.
I SHOULD BE OVER YOU BY NOW!!!
WE SHOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS ALREADY!!!

But no...
You had to be a dickhead and do this to me.
Happy?!?!?!

Now my life is hell.

...

But I don't regret knowing you...
Because there's something about you that made me feel this.
Something in you made me change...

...

Stupid isn't it?

If you ever get to read this...
Here's a note for you.
If you only talk to me so I can do your homework,
Then I'll do all your homeworks...
In all your subjects...
The whole of your stay in college.

...

See how desperate I am?!?!?!

...

I need more rhum.

Recovery...

I think I'm over him...

...

I think.

I'm not actually feeling well...
But I got nuthin else to do.

So here it goes.

I cried my eyes out for three days.
I looked for a rebound.
I found three.

It was back to school.
I've been telling myself to suck it all in.
Then someone said he's absent. Fever.
?!?!?!?!
was it wrong that I smiled?
I didn't mean it...
Anyway...
Next day.
He came.
I had the biggest smile on my face.
And I cried the longest time afterwards.
I thought I can handle it.
But I can't.

...

I'm dealing with it.
I'm starting to.
But I can't shake off that part...
That little piece that still likes him...

I guess it won't be gone ever.

He talked to me today.
He needed something.
At least we talked.

...

Maybe he shouldn't have.
Now the feeling is back.

Shit.

I need rhum.

Confessions...

I got this from Alya on Friendster...
Thsnks Alya!

I won't post a real post yet...

I'm still not in the mood.

But feel free to copy paste, and add your own confession.

Mark your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of silence.
[x] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[x] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors atnight.
[x] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is closed
[ ] I am afraid of gay or lesbian people.
[x] I believe in true love.
[ ] I've run away from home
[ ] I listen to political music
[ ] I collect comic books
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for brown eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for blue eyes
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[ ] I love Spam....
[ ] I bake well
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I want a better job
[ ] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil.
[x] I like multiple people
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[x] I loved Lord of the Rings.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I am not comfortable with being me.
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before.
[x] Seen a shooting star.
[ ] Had a menage a trois.
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas
[x] Have kissed someone really strange....
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of adiff. sex.
[x] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage comeout of my nose.
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at Liberace.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car...
[ ] been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] shoplifted
[ ] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have themback.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach
[ ]Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.
[ ] been to New York
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar or club
[x] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[x] Continued to care for someone sooo much eventhough you know you can't have them
[x] taken a picture just for the sole purpose ofputting it on myspace/friendster..
[ ] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public.
[x] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyesclosed.
[ ]been at a party and instead of giving out yourphone number you give them your mypsace nameand say look me up
[x] liked someone even though you knew youshouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone a lot lately.
[ ] Hate the world.
[x] Love someone who doesnt realize it
[ ] have your cell phone permanently attached toyour hand/hip
[x] cried over a guy/girl you didnt even go out with
[x] dated with a guy who really likes you but you have no interest in just to forget the one you truly love

Copy paste it...
it's fun!

Cheers for now...
I'll hook you up on my life when I feel better.

Stoic...

It's always very hard when I get sick.
I have to go back from the start,
And build everything from scratch.
Gawrsh.

I'm supposed to focus on my midterms,
But I can't...
Because of damned things that I wasn't supposed to feel in the first place.
I know I'm not like this.
I don't go crazy over something that is probably just a passing fancy...
Maybe it isn't a passing fancy.

But I know I'm more than this.
I've become weak because of unforseen circumstances..
Whick I don't want to go away.

I want it all to end.
But I know I'll still look for it..
I'll still long for it.

I think I'm going insane.

I want to be me again.
I want to be the hakuna matata me again.

This ... thing ... person ...
is killing me inside.
But no matter how hard I fight,
I choose to succumb.

Because in the end,
No matter how many pains,
tears,
aches I have,
I still want it.
I still want him.

How stubborn can I get?

Uhhh...
I want to feel nothing.
I want to punch a mirror,
See the blood flowing out of my knuckles,
Buit I won't feel it.
I want to slit my wrist,
See people gasp and stare at my death
But I will look aloof to all the commotion.

I want everything around me to stop.
And I will look for him.
And when I find him,
I will never let him go.
I will not let time affect us.
Because If he would know I'm there,
He'll leave.
And I'll be alone again.

When that happens,
I will search the world...
I will look for him.
And when I find him,
I'll tell him I love him.
Then I can die.

...

Dramatic isn't it?
But that is how I feel.
I'm popping 4 pills a time...
so spare with the drama.
I'm emotionally unstable because of the meds.
But what I feel wne wrote right now are all me.

So there.
Next time you hear from this blog i probably next week.
Hopefully.

Cheers!

Insanity...

I'm back...

And a lot has happened.

I've been sick as hell.

I just wanted you guys to know I'm here again.

Well,
Midterms are coming up.
So I gotta study.

So...
After midterms?

Very well.

Cheers!

Regrets...

This isn't Mac...
She just wanted this posted tonight.
I'm her cousin...
And now,
Without further ado...
I give you Mac's post.

Regrets.
That's what I've been thinking of today.
The shoulda woulda coulda has been buzzing in my head.

My heart has been pounding.
My head spinning.
My breath getting harsh.

I miss him...
I want to hear his voice.
I want to be beside him.
But I think he doesn't even want to be near me.
What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?

Haay...
As I'm writing this,
I'm think I'm going to faint.
I need to talk to him.
But how?

...

Well, that's all she wrote.
She fainted afterwards.
Whoever my cousin is referring to,
I hope you read this...
And talk to my cousin.
You're the only person that made her feel like this.
You're really something special.
I hope you realize that.

Bullshit...

Only four days passed,
But I went from heaven, hell and back again.

Integration was great...
Though I smelled like shit afterwards...

Hey...
I was in the rain with the person I wanted to be with...
Though we weren't actually "together",
It was still great.

That night, there was a concert.
Join the Club was there...
But I wasn't.
...
I hate it when my parents fight because of me.
Duh...
If you didn't want me to go out late at night,
Then don't send me to school.

Anyway...
Our Theology project has been on my mind for too many weeks...
We just reported today.
And thank goodness we did good.
Because if we didn't,
There'll be hell to pay.

Another one:
Chico!!!
WHY DROP?!?!?!
I'LL MISS YOU LIKE HELL!!!
It won't be FaC without you...

Last one:
Why is it that when it's only the two of us,
You talk so sweet and you're so nice...
But when there are others around,
You act like you don't know I exist.
Bullshit.
You know...
I think you're my lucky charm.
And don't worry,
I didn't tell anyone you called.
I wanted to keep that for myself.

And don't worry,
Nobody knows who you are.
I bet you don't even read my blog...
HAayyy...
I really like you.

XP